Team K.L.A.S.S.Y. The best beer pong team ever.

Kenny Loggins’ All Stars Sh#t Yeahs: featuring Ramón Gristle &Tracy Johnson.

Team K.L.A.S.S.Y. hails from many infamous, no, notorious ping pong roots. A virtual where’s where of hall of fame locations; including stints in the 8 mile section of Chanhassen and the mean suburban streets of the ‘Kan.  This team was really battle tested in the heart of darkness known as Parkland and the Ivy covered halls of North Tacoma. Known to listen to 80’s greats like Kenny Loggins, Billy Idol and Journey; Team K.L.A.S.S.Y. can often be found pumping a fist or a performing the Carlton or Bustin a Move on most street corners. Its two members:

Ramón “the kid” Gristle:

He has the wingspan of an albatross and the soft touch of a monkey. His specialty has never been offense, rather defense in the game of ‘Ruit.  Reaching from a long history of heckles that were forged in the front row at Linda Sheridan Gymnasium, the Kennel and the Memorial Field House; this kids’ motor won’t stop running till he is comatose. Guided by the Ghost of Madmartigan and trailed by a warpath of fallen enemies; Mister Gristle’s liver can and will outlast any foe who tries to go toe to toe with “the kid”.

Tracy “the boss” Johnson:

He once shot the eighth largest bear in Pend Oreille County. True Story. You don’t want to mess with someone who once shot the eighth largest bear in Pend Oreille County. If he put a bullet in between that bears eyeballs, don’t you think he could do the same with a ping pong ball and keg cup? He dares you to defend your cup…he’s got a nice spot picked out above the mantle for anyone in his way.

By Tommy Friedlander